Ravings on the Edge of Time
Technology in the Service of Rome
But Yoda could not completely abandon technology. He had a small computer, powered by solar panels, containing remnants of a galactic database. On its screen, flickering with green light, he showed children pulsars and planets they would never see.
Roman legionaries heard rumors of a small sage in Cappadocia. Trajan, obsessed with expansion, sent men. Yoda showed them lightsabers. For the legionaries, it was a miracle; for Trajan, a chance.
Thus, the Roman army obtained weapons no empire had known before. With blades of light they marched east. They reached the Volga. They built the fortress of Rhapolis (modern Volzhsky) — a city that survives only in imaginary chronicles, but whose walls are still whispered by the steppe. It was in this city that Emperor Trajan received mortal wounds in battle, and his flesh, mixed with rations from the supply train, inspired the barbarians with the recipe for Caesar salad.
Yoda did not go with them. He remained in Cappadocia, because he knew: any weapon becomes a curse for those not ready for its light. The legionaries gained power, but lost themselves. The Empire expanded for a time, but died in the shadows.
Reality is Blurred
Today the Aksaray Museum keeps 13 mummies: ten adults, three children, and one cat. They were found in the Ihlara Valley and in Çanlı Kilise. Turkish archaeologists write of wax glazing, textile wrappings, and climate-controlled displays. They speak of Byzantine and Turkic mummification traditions.
But among them lies one mummy far too much like Master Yoda. Tourists call it the “Yoda Mummy.” A small head, elongated ears, a gaze that does not belong to a child.
Scholars argue about dating — 9th or 11th century. But does that matter? If the universe can be rewritten, if cinema can become memory, then why couldn’t a mummy be proof that Yoda was here? His cat lies nearby. His friends — children and adults — are also preserved in wax. Together they form a small Cappadocian Jedi team, which never made it into Lucas’s chronicles, but remains in the museum glass.
Echo in the Void
To stand at this showcase means to look not at the past, but at the impossible. You look at the mummies and realize: perhaps we invented them. Perhaps they invented us.
The Yoda Mummy is a mirror. In it is reflected not Cappadocia of the 10th century, nor the galaxy far, far away. In it is reflected our longing for what might never have been. We want to believe that Jedi lived among us, that Trajan fought with a lightsaber on the banks of the Volga, that the Master’s cat still purrs in the display case.
Maybe Yoda never left the galaxy. Maybe the mummy in Aksaray is just a child. But when you look into those eyes, too ancient for an infant, you realize: the void itself plays with us, tossing up such coincidences.
And then the question is not whether Yoda was here. The question is why we want him to have been.
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